Announcing the National Tea Party Federation

Top Tea Party organizers have announced an effort to do the opposite of what they claim to stand for. Hilarity ensues.

Some bunch of Tea Party opportunists asshats delusionals self-appointed poobahs have decided to try and organize the assorted independent Tea Party groups and govern their efforts. Mark Skoda from Memphis announced a new umbrella organization called the National Tea Party Federation, formed with that objective.

How exactly they intend to organize and govern a bunch of people whose sole openly announced unifying affinitive trait is their opposition to organized governance was not discussed in detail, but I’m sure they’ll be getting around to that part of the plan real soon.

Among the New Rules from Skoda are, apparently, No Bigots and No Violence, a claim that strains credulity considering the agendas of their announced affiliates. According to unconfirmed reports, at least a dozen independent Tea Party outfits have already set up betting pools speculating on the date and time when the damn Bohunk Usurper will be shot.

Skoda also claims that the Tea Parties have a total of 500,000 members nationwide. In comparison, there are an estimated 25 million regular followers of the LOL-Cats movement. Hang In There, Tea Partiers! With a little governance and organization and unification and submission to authority, you could in about twenty years approach the political influence of Crazy Cat Ladies.

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10 responses to “Announcing the National Tea Party Federation

  1. How exactly they intend to organize and govern a bunch of people whose sole openly announced unifying affinitive trait is their opposition to organized governance was not discussed in detail,

    cool! they’re beginning to sound like democrats, another totally unorganizable group.

    i know it pains people to be told this, but there was a time, not all that long ago, when a significant number of the tea partiers were once yellowdog democrats. granted they were of the racist, sexist, homophobic, religionist dixiecrat wing of the party, but they helped put democrats, even some good ones occasionally, in office.

    i do love you for that lolcats reference btw. 🙂

  2. grahamfirchlis

    LOLcats, h, you know I was thinking of you.

    Those yellowdogs left the Democrats a long time ago in political terms, starting 40 years ago with the civil rights and voting acts. They’ve had a lot of names since but mostly what they are is bigoted.

    I know it pains people to be told this but so long as the Democrats support equality for all, however tepid in factual accomplishment that support may be, they will always be hated by this bunch of Reactionaries and the Muddled Middle will be frightened.

    It takes a lot to move a society, especially one as sick-in-the-mud as ours. I want to see more progress, now, but the price we apparently pay is the reactionary response that gave us Reagan and the Bushs. Incrementalism may not be inspiring for the Left, but it may also be the path that lets us keep moving forward without the big backwards slides.

    • hipparchia

      you’re a sweetie!

      but here in almost-alabama, a lot of those yellow dogs did not get peeled off until gingrich launched his contract on america.

      I know it pains people to be told this but so long as the Democrats support equality for all, however tepid in factual accomplishment that support may be, they will always be hated by this bunch of Reactionaries and the Muddled Middle will be frightened.

      that’s the problem with the democrats — they can’t SUPPORT equality, they’re going to have to PRODUCE it.

      gawd knows the far-right reactionary organization that the republican party has become doesn’t give a damn about equality, and the present crew of democrats have failed massively so far in producing any actual equality, or even producing a modicum of reassurance and security for the muddled middle.

      • grahamfirchlis

        Ah, and Gingrich was when? Oh yeah, 1994, 16 years ago which maybe seems like yesterday even to a young person such as yourself, but really it was a long time ago in political terms and most of them had already long gone, even if they didn’t change their registration.

        As to who needs to do what, here’s where we not so much part company but I sort of siddle over to the other side of the room.

        Waiting for the Democrats to do something is a losers game, because they will always be drawn back to the Conservative shpere when they are in power. Expecting them to do something they can’t, becasue the caucus won’t let them and if they do they cut their own throats because the voters will kick them out, is just not going to work.

        If we want something to happen, we will have to figure out how to make it happen. We stand a better chance of being able to do that with the Democrats in power thn with the Republicans in charge. But it is a two-step process, and the Left has done diddly-all but complain since the 60s. When people are willing, no, eager to take to the streets and shut the machine down, then we will get responsiveness from government and not until then.

        If we want change, we need to be the agent of that change. Complaining that others aren’t doing it for us…well, but I do ramble on, don’t I? Step back a bit from the big view and reflect on how change works in our personal lives. The principles are the same.

  3. The Other Sarah

    Well, damn. No exclusivity for me, eh?

    In comparison, there are an estimated 25 million regular followers of the LOL-Cats movement.

    Census forecasts suggest Texas’ population is about 30 million.

    Wonder how many of us are proud of being part of both groups?

  4. grahamfirchlis

    Ah, Sarah, no slight intended, but you have a ways to go to catch up with hipparchia on the cat-fur-&-dander-production front. Next time I have a chance to make a kick-ass-pick-’em-up-truck comparison, it will definitely be you I think of first.

    • hipparchia

      i’ve got everybody beat in the cat-fur-and-dander dept.

      twocat is still the cutest however.

      • grahamfirchlis

        My eyes start to redden and water just reading your comments, did you know that? Something about quantum dander electrointeractivity or something….

      • hipparchia

        replacing computer viruses with computer dander now… i help out any way i can!

  5. No voilance or racism could convert Teabuggery to Coffeeklatchery.

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