New path for Pacifism?

Only one in four American adults 17 – 24 are eligible for military service, according to a Navy Times report of a new Pentagon study based on data from the Centers for Disease Control.

The largest category of ineligibles, about a third, are medically or physically unfit. According to the Pentagon’s director of accessions, Curt Gilroy, the United States has “an obesity crisis. Kids are just not able to do push-ups, and they can’t do pull-ups. And they can’t run.” Another 40% or so are ineligible due to mental health issues, past criminal convictions or drug use, or because they have too many dependents.

military eligibility

Limit the availability of new recruits, and you limit the size of the military. The most effective way to end American wars of aggression may be to promote our kids watching TV and playing video games 24/7 as they eat unlimited amounts of cheetos and donuts washed down by high-fructose corn syrup soft drinks while shooting up speedballs with their gangbanger friends and deny them contraception so they breed like rabbits.

Who could have predicted?


3 responses to “New path for Pacifism?

  1. blacksheepone

    You know, peace is a good thing.
    This might be too high a price to pay for it though…

  2. grahamfirchlis

    Yeah, the word pyrrhic does leap to mind.

    Maybe though this will turn the tide of Republican anti-immigration rhetoric. If the only way to keep America free is to bring in strong healthy single childless young men from overseas to serve in our armed forces, preferably fluent in Arabic and familiar with the customs of the Middle East….Well, never mind. I mean, where ever would we find a reservoir of talent like that?

    Whaddaya think? The trick is to keep them segregated. The First Armored Sunni Battalion can fight against the Shia insurgents, while the Fifth Shia Light Infantry Brigade can do battle somewhere else against Sunni deadenders. Our ace will be the 101st Airborn Wahabbis, who we can just throw in where ever we need them because they hate everybody.

    What we need to do is get us some better fatwahs.

  3. Pingback: New path for Pacifism? « Graham Firchlis has a blog

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